May 29, 2012

A Tough Season


I’ve been putting this off for too long. So here it goes.

Heather and I have been struggling these past 3-6 months. Taking care of Sammie and Ellie, with Heather being pregnant, has been an incredibly difficult thing. It’s been very exhausting and that has made Heather and I not so good at parenting. So a little while ago Heather and I finally came to a conclusion; we were no longer a good fit for Sammie and Ellie. So we felt the best thing for them and us would be if we found another foster family to care for them.

It’s not been an easy road. There haven’t been any foreign families that are willing to take them. We found out about a family who was interested and started the process of getting Sammie and Ellie transitioned into their home. After one full day (play date, we hadn’t moved them over yet) the family decided that they couldn’t take care of them. We were devastated as we had high hopes for them and this family. (That was about 2-3 weeks ago.)

And then a week ago we found out that there is a local Chinese family that is willing to care for them. For Heather and I, we had mixed feelings about this. We feel like we’ve seen Sammie and Ellie’s English really improve as well as seen them start the adjustment to western food and parenting style. It’s hard to swallow that they will now have to readjust to their own culture. We know that this new family will love these guys, but it will be different from how we have loved them.

But the truth still remains, even if this new situation isn’t ideal, Heather and I had no choice, what we’re doing right now is not sustainable.  It’s super hard right now because with this we feel a whole range of emotions. It’s hard to even put into words all that we’re feeling.

If this weren’t enough for us to be going through we’re also saying goodbye to our friends the Faillas. In fact, it’s inappropriate to call them friends as they have become our family. We’ve worked with them for the past 8 years and our kids have grown-up together and I suppose we grown-ups have also grown-up together. They leave on Friday and we’re not sure when we will see them again.

So this is how it’s unfolded and is unfolding. Yesterday I took Sammie and Ellie over to the new foster family for a chance for them to meet. It went well. Today they went over again with our friend Julie. Tomorrow (Wed) we will move them over permanently. (We’ve known about this for a little while, I just haven’t had the strength or desire to write about it, so it’s not as sudden as this post is making it sound.) Then on Friday we will say goodbye to the Faillas.  Our hearts are aching and feel like they’ve been through a grinder. It will be one of the hardest weeks we’ve ever faced.

We have told our kids about the upcoming change and they’ve handled it well although they are very sad. One of the best decisions we’ve made in this season was telling our kids from the beginning that there would be another family that would adopt them (we’ve also reminded them of this from time-to-time). So instead of them being confused about why Sammie and Ellie are leaving they knew from the beginning that they would leave us at some point.

Let me end with this. To say that we’re limping to the finish line of this season would be a gross exaggeration. Our Father is literally carrying us one day at a time. There have been so many people who have reached out to us to love/support us. Thank you, honestly we couldn’t do it without you! Please pray for us during this difficult transition. Also for Sammie and Ellie, this will be extremely hard for them. They will be with this new family until they are adopted to a family in the states.


Thank you for your prayers and support,
the petersons

15 comments:

  1. You guys are wonderful people for even considering to watch this many children for as long as you have. The transition will be difficult, but in the grand scheme of things, I agree it will be best for them. Keep up the awesome work and hang in there. We love you guys.

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    1. Thanks brother! I miss you man! I'm grateful for the time we did have out here though! -Matt

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  2. My heart ached for you as I read this. Thank you for sharing so honestly. We will be lifting you guys up in prayer...

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    1. Thank you. We appreciate your prayers! -Matt

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  3. Praying for you and the kids. So sorry.

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  4. Will be thinking of you guys often and talking to Father too.

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    1. Thanks Martha! We are grateful for your prayers! -Matt

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  5. Tears and more tears. Love your family with all my heart and it aches for all that is changing right now.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Sarah. -Matt

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  6. Praying for you and trusting God with you.

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    1. Thank you Julie! It meant a lot to us to have you come out here! -Matt

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  7. Amber Moore2.6.12

    We will be praying for you all, as well. We know how it feels to have to let go of a foster child and to face our own limitations as parents. Praying comfort over your hearts, especially with everything else you are facing.

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  8. Our hearts are breaking for you right now. We have peeked in and read here many times but never left a comment. We too have had too disrupt a placement before for the good of everyone and we know the pain, deeply.
    We love your blog and had seriously considered coming over to visit you.
    Will be praying.

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  9. This must have been a difficult decision, but I am sure it was done with a loving heart.

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