Questions About Raising A Child Who's HIV+

Hi everyone!

So a little while ago I was honored to have a family who's considering adopting an HIV+ orphan write me. Naturally they had concerns and were looking for more info from someone who was raising an HIV+ child. I was grateful to have the opportunity to share with them my thoughts. Here are their questions and my answers hopefully it will help others as well!

1) How has this affected your child in regards to their relationships with others and your relationships with others? HIV has such a stigma; I want to make sure we are prepared to help our child with the negative opinions that would come his/her way. I worry about the discrimination.

Well... All our friends here in China (foreigners) understand that HIV doesn't transmit through everyday contact, so we haven't had any fallout from that. Also, we're careful about who we tell. You can control who knows and who doesn't, it's your child. So it hasn't affected us or her in that way.

2) How extensive are the meds? Are they working? Is it on a child by child basis?

Lily, our HIV+ daughter takes medicine twice a day (morning and night). It's super easy to give her and it's a normal part of our routine now. And yes the meds are working; in fact, Lily has been healthier than our biological kids since getting on the medication.

3) How often do your kiddos have to be hospitalized for HIV related issues?

NEVER. Our kids have never had to be hospitalized for HIV related reasons. Honestly her being HIV+ rarely crosses my mind since getting informed about how difficult it is to spread and how it can be managed through medication. I mean, look at Magic Johnson, he's been HIV+ for 20 years now and still lives a normal life.

4) How have you changed your daily activities to accommodate the HIV status (if at all)?

At first, before Lily was on the medication we needed to be careful to protect her from other kids who were sick with colds and what not. The ironic thing was that we were more of a danger to her than she was to us. But after a few months and her getting on medication her immune system is unaffected by the virus. Our lives look exactly the same as they would if she didn't live with us.

Honestly, my wife and I didn't know anything about HIV/AIDS before this journey and now that we do we would gladly encourage others to care for these kids. Because of fear and misinformation these kids are treated like lepers... it doesn't have to be that way. We can be the families that care for the least of these. I've been shocked to learn that HIV DOESN'T transmit through everyday activity and that the medication can help them so much. Kids that are HIV can live long lives, marry and have children.

much love,

the petersons

Little Fish Opens Its Office!

Hi everyone! How are you? I hope well.

The Little Fish office has been open now for a little bit and I wanted to share some photos with you. This is a project that is near to my heart and one that many of you contributed to earlier this year. Ethan (the leader of the Little Fish project) wanted to make sure and say thank you to all of you for your support. He also caught me up on their work. They had three orphans move in when the office first opened. Living on their own is a completely new situation for these orphans. Ethan has been teaching them how to take care of themselves, things like; cooking, cleaning, buying food, and how to work together as a team. They are also continuing their lessons in learning music and dance. 

Here are some photos of the three that moved in when the office was opened. I hope you enjoy!

Thanks again to all of you for supporting this work!

much love,

the petersons

Things We Can Learn From Kids Movies

So I mentioned the other week that we had a kung fu party after we watch Kung Fu Panda 2. Well for the past few weeks I’ve had a post idea half completed about some things I’ve learned from Kung Fu Panda 2. But first you need to know this. For the longest time in the back of my mind I thought that it was terrible that Lily’s parents abandoned her.

Makes sense, right?

Well recently I’ve been thinking of a different scenario. If you remember, in Kung Fu Panda 2, Po’s parents leave him behind when their village is attacked. Not because they wanted too, but because they had too. And the thought that has begun to develop in my mind is this “maybe these parents didn’t want to give their kid up" or "maybe it was the hardest decision they ever had to make."

I don't know the reasons for why Lily's (or Ellie and Sammie's) families abandoned them.

I wish that I could tell them that we love their child. That Lily will go to bed tonight full. That she will wake up and have clothes to wear. But most importantly that she is surrounded by people that love and care for her.

Maybe I should also re-read my post on not judging others because we don't always know the whole story...

What are your thoughts?

much love,
the petersons

10 Questions And Answers About Foster Care

"Our sweet Lily."

I want to continue my lists of ten with some questions a friend recently asked me about foster care. I put together the questions and answers and I hope that they can help/serve you. If you have more questions feel free to comment below.

1. How and why did you start fostering? 
Well one night we got a text from a good friend of ours explaining how there was an orphan in our city that needed a home. So we hadn’t really planned on doing it as much as found ourselves just responding to a need around us. I came across a quote recently that has been very impactful “Availability is rarer than ability” we aren’t anything special, but we have made ourselves available to serve and love others. I love that our Father uses us to be His hands and feet in this world to others.

2. How have you experienced God through your fostering experience? Both good and bad! 
One way we’ve experienced Him is in our need for Him. I remember the second night we had Lily in our house and my wife and I laid all the kids down to bed. We made our way to the couch where we collapsed like cheap folding chairs. Both of us expressed how we felt overwhelmed and in that moment we realized our need to turn to Him even for the simple things. Not just the miracles. With Sammie and Ellie we’ve had a lot of these moments.

We have seen a bunch of people reach out to us and love us. Literally wrapping their arms around us to love us and encourage us in this time. It has been a good reminder that we are the Body of Christ, not just alone trying to do His work.

3. How did you feel when you first met your child? 
This is a tough question for me to answer, because when people adopt, they know they will care for that child for the rest of their lives. With Lily we didn’t know how long we would care for her. So I don’t think I had the typical feelings people will express when they first meet their adopted child. But, as time has gone by the bond has been made strong. Today I don’t look at Lily any different than I do our biological children. But that has only come through time and pushing through difficult times.

4. What was the first night/24 hours like? 
Exciting and overwhelming. Exciting because our lives took a huge turn in an unexpected direction, which is one of the foundations for any adventure story. I would say overwhelming for the same reason. It was new and we had no idea what to expect because we had no experience in fostering an orphan. (Or how to care for someone who’s HIV+.) 

5. How has this affected your children already living at home/ faith/marriage? 
I think the best way it’s impacted my marriage is it has given us a purpose that we both share. We’re in this adventure together, side-by-side and that’s exciting. Of course, it’s tough in regard to more kids equaling more responsibilities, but it just means we need to be more intentional about spending time together.

For our kids it’s been amazing. I want them to grow up knowing the importance of helping others. Showing them that and not just telling them that is powerful. Seeing our kids play together and love each other is such an amazing thing. I hope that my wife and I continue to pass on the legacy of helping orphans to our children.

In regards to our faith, fostering these children has really pushed us in ways our comfortable life wouldn’t have. I need God more than ever, even in the most basic ways, and that is directly because of the work we are doing.

6. What is the best thing? 
Knowing that my wife and I are making a real difference in someone’s life is one of the best things. And that the difference will last longer than our lives.

7. What is the worst? 
The sacrifice of comfort and time is the hardest thing. There is no vacation from parenting or fostering (Maybe I should re-read this.)  Every day my wife and I wake up we need to give ourselves completely to the children we are raising.

8. What advice would you give that you wish was given to you? 
Don’t have expectations of what emotions you ‘should be’ feeling. People who adopt have incredible first encounters with their forever adoptive children, but it’s not always the case when you’re fostering. Emotions and feelings can’t be our guide for what we do and if we’re doing the right thing. If you make someone else’s experience your expectation it can set you up for heartache.

It will get better. The first six months were the hardest for us, knowing that has helped us with our adjustment and expectations with taking in Sammie and Ellie.

9. What were reactions of friends, family, Chinese people? 
Most people were SUPER supportive of us doing this and saw the value in it. Some people were concerned about the HIV aspect of it and if it would be dangerous to the rest of our family. That has all changed since getting our first foster child. To be honest, not many Chinese people know that our foster children are HIV+ and one of the only ones that did stopped working for us. It was tough to feel that rejection, but I can’t imagine the rejection these kids feel and have felt. Even the smallest taste of rejection has been tough.

10. Specific problems you had? 
Night terrors were a difficult part of our first few months. Not knowing how to handle them and just feeling worried for Lily. With Sammie and Ellie we really didn’t have that issue. Speaking a lot of Chinese is draining. With all our foster children we’ve needed to speak primarily in Chinese and that is exhausting. Kids pick up languages quick though, but it takes a little while for them to adjust.

When we took in Ellie and Sammie that put us at six kids and that just makes things tough. And now that Heather’s pregnant that can make it pretty draining. There are times where multiple kids are crying/needing something and that can be difficult.

Are there any questions you have for me about fostering?

much love,
the petersons

3000 Friends For Gus Fundraiser

I’ve been absolutely blown away by the generosity of this community in the past.  And today I want to draw your attention once more to a situation that you can help in a very simple and practical way.

A week or so ago my wife told me about a family raising money to adopt a little child from China who’s been diagnosed with pygmyism; this is a disability that is similar to dwarfism.  Heather than told me that they were raising money for their adoption by running a fundraiser aimed at getting 3000 people to donate $10 (Called 3000 friends for Gus).  This family, this boy, this situation, all stuck with me for the next few days.  As many of you already know, adoption has been and continues to become an important part of Heather and I’s life.  I love that this family (who have adopted four kids already) is willing to care for one more little one; a boy who’s disabled and in desperate need (as we all are) of a place to belong, of a place to be loved and of a place to be cared for.  I want to help Gus and his forever family meet.

So I wrote Jodi, whose family wants to adopt this little boy, and asked if we could promote them on our site and she agreed.

So I want to say two things about this.

The first is that I love adoption. It’s an incredible way to make a HUGE difference in someone’s life.  You and I can’t adopt Gus, but we can help this family adopt him.

The second is that this family has made it very easy for us to be part of this.  All we need to do to help this boy and this family is donate $10 (or two coffees from Starbucks, if that) and you can even use your Paypal account to do it.  This is a very real need; and a very achievable way to be part of the solution.

If you’re interested in making a $10 donation; head over to their site, by clicking here.  Check out the top right corner of their blog and you will see two fundraisers they are running.  Feel free to participate in either of them (the other one is buying jewelry with a portion of the sales going to help Gus’s adoption).  DO NOT donate on our blog.

Thanks everyone in advance for your donations and prayers for this family.

much love,

the petersons

If you wanna help Gus even more you can “Like” this at the bottom of this post to help spread the word, or post a link to their blog.

The Truth About HIV/AIDS

Hi Everyone!

Here's a really good video made by Project Hopeful.  It presents a lot of challenging info about HIV/AIDS.  If you have a minute feel free to check it out.  If you have two minutes check out this last video I posted about orphans, very good stuff.  Or just scroll on down to older posts.



much love,
the petersons

Why I Didn't Panic

I had a cool moment the other week.  Three of our eighty kids were caught red-handed under the dinner table; each with a spoon in their hand and all gathered around an open jar of peanut butter.  My first reaction was “Who is responsible for this!”

Not a super big deal, right?

Well as a father of six and half of my kids being HIV+, what was cool was that my initial reaction wasn’t “Oh no what’s going to happen to so and so!”  My reaction wasn’t that, because HIV isn’t transferred through everyday activities (i.e. sharing spoons and eating out of the same jar of peanut butter.)

I didn’t need to panic. 

Before Heather and I’s journey of caring for HIV+ orphans began I would have had no idea that it is impossible to transfer HIV through everyday activities.  Now that I know, I can focus on the things that do matter, like busting whoever was the ring leader of “Operation Peanut Butter." (OPB for short)

Orphans who are HIV+ have already been abandoned by relatives.  Many have already been cast aside even by orphanages and their societies.  They don’t need another person to just walk by them or to be afraid of them.  What they do need are people who are willing to pick them up and love them.

Are you willing to adopt or foster a child who’s HIV+?

with hope,

the petersons

"The peanut butter that my children were willing to face hard time for.  And, yes, that is a Chinese Skippy Peanut Butter container."

Update on the Little Fish Fundraiser

Hey everyone!

The fundraiser that we started a little over two weeks ago has already raised $1,116! Thank you so much to everyone who has given and also thank you everyone who has helped spread the word. If you are still interested in making a donation, we're still interested in receiving them! Just drop me a message and let me know.

Much love,

the petersons

"These are a few of the orphans performing at a Christmas show."

How can I help orphans?

Many of us ask this question "How can I help orphans?" here's a short video I came across today that really made me think.

ONE - Lifeline Children's Services from Six Foot Five on Vimeo.

Thank you everyone for helping out with our fundraiser. What are your thoughts about this video? Leave your comments below.

Much love,
the petersons

A closer look at the Little Fish

It’s almost been a week since the little fish fundraiser was started. We’ve had a few donations totaling $316, so with the matching gift that brings our total to… hold on here a sec… carry the one... $632! Remember even if all you can give is $10 or $15 that can help this group. Let’s take a closer look at what the Little Fish project is aiming to do.

Before Ethan and his volunteers came in these kids would mostly sit around watching TV with little to no interaction. They had been abandoned by those who were meant to care for them, because in society’s eyes they were worthless. Ethan wants to show these orphans that they are important, that they are loved, and that they can do something with their lives. Ethan and his volunteers encourage them to be creative. They do this by teaching them how to; play music instruments, sing, MC on stage, perform fashion shows, read and study poems, and also to sing worship songs. They want to also teach them how to do dance performances.

In the future they want to put together a music group from these orphans that will travel around performing. It will be something they can do to show not only these orphans, but also the society around them, that although they are handicapped and disabled they still have value and significance. It will also be an incredible message of love that will challenge those that see how Ethan and his volunteers have reached out to those others have abandoned.

Also in the future they would like to be teaching these orphans one-on-one in areas like; computer skills, making crafts and various other subjects (Math, Chinese and English). They will do this so that they can learn to live independently.

That’s a closer look at the Little Fish organization.

Much love,

The petersons

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” -Jackie Robinson

Here are some of the orphans that Ethan works with.

Little Fish Fundraiser

I had an incredible experience a few days before Christmas that will impact me for many years to come and I would like to share it with you. A friend of mine here, Ethan, has been working with handicapped and disabled orphans for many years now. (Many of you may remember giving to his organization “Little Fish” by buying cards the orphans had made when Heather and I were home two summers ago.) This year he has seen a lot of progress in his work with these kids.

So it was only a few days before Christmas when Ethan and his group of orphans put on a performance at a local school here and that is where I was really impacted. The first thing that really touched me was watching these handicapped and disabled orphans perform. They sang a bunch of songs and even had a fashion show, which was super cute. Seeing the confidence, joy, and life that was coming out of these kids was amazing. To me, their smiles and attitude perfectly reflected the love that Ethan and his co-workers have given them. It moved me to tears.

The second thing that really impacted me happened near the end of the performance. One of the orphans came up to me; struggling to walk, struggling to control his movements and having difficulty communicating and handed me a pamphlet about the Little Fish project. Despite his circumstances he thought of me and wanted to give to me. I wish I thought of others the way this young man thought of me in that moment.

The reason I’m writing this, if you couldn’t tell from the post title, is that I want to help Ethan raise some money for his work. In a month Ethan is going to look for an apartment to rent and will use it as an office. What’s exciting about this is that the Little Fish group will use this office as a place to move some of the orphans who are more capable of living on their own. It will be a place for them to begin a new life outside the walls of an orphanage. It will also be a place for the staff to meet together to train and to pray for this work. I’m also excited because for future guests who visit Xian it can be a place for us to go love on these guys.

My goal is to raise $800 for Ethan's project. Ethan has already raised much of the rent money he will need for a full year, but this money will fulfill what he needs for rent. It will also be used in furnishing this office/living space and cover additional expenses like utilities. What's cool is that someone has already committed to matching donations up to $400! So that means that for every dollar you donate, two will be given to this work!

I don’t know what your financial situation is, but if you care about work being done with orphans, or work being done with disabled/handicapped, or if you take the words of Jesus about "loving the least of these" serious, then this is a great opportunity for you to help. Even a donation of $15 can be a tremendous blessing to this project. If you’re interested in helping, please write me an email to discuss how you can make a donation at mattpeterson83@gmail.com

Also, help me get the word out! You can post links on your own blog or Facebook page, or simply click the like button at the bottom of this post to get the word out for how to help this group. Heather and I love you guys, thanks for reading all of this!

We have a month to raise this money and I will keep everyone posted on how it’s going! Check out the total on the side of our blog to see where we’re at.

"A day lived without showing love to others, is a day not worth living." -Mother Theresa

With hope,

the petersons

"This is the guy who impacted me."

"Here are the "Little Fish" performing a song"

"Here's one of the guys during the fashion show"

Pneumonia and Gettin-Ta-Know-Ya

Hi Everyone!

Well I want to update all you wonderful people with a look back on our past 4 days with Sammie and Ellie. Monday morning our Aussie friends dropped off the two little ones and as expected they were both sad. Ellie seemed to have a harder time with it, but she did let Heather hold her most of the day. Our other kids have done really well with the transition. I’ve really seen Aubrey do well with helping out around the house and loving on the two new little ones. She has been such a blessing! I’ve been really surprised as well with how well Lily has done. I was worried that she might see Sammie and Ellie as ‘threats’ to her place in our family, but it’s been quite the opposite. Lily has loved on these kids in a really amazing way. Seeing them play together is really cool.

The hardest thing with the transition has been nap time/night time. Both Ellie and Sammie cried/screamed when we laid them down. I can’t imagine the emotions and fears that go through their little heads after being abandoned. Ellie has gotten better; to the point where she doesn’t even cry when we lay her down. Sammie, however, is still having a hard time with it. He will cry out for his mom :( and it’s hard to console him. Outside of that things have gone well with the transition.

But, that’s not all that’s been going on in our home. Both Sydney and Lily have developed pneumonia this past week. For three days we had to have them stay back in their room and rest. They cough quite a bit at night, which has made it hard for them to sleep. Also, Sydney hasn’t been eating too much since getting pneumonia :( But, luckily, we have some good friends here who are doctors and they were kind enough to come to our house to check on both Sydney and Lily (thanks Rich!). One bright spot from all of this is that because I had to buy so much medicine for the girls (21 boxes of amoxicillin) the pharmacy gave me a free mixing bowl. Its things like this that make me love China.

As I’m writing this Ellie walked over to me and smiled, she really has one of the best smiles. We’re going to call Ellie, Ellie Mei (pronounced MAY, but in Chinese Mei means beautiful). We still don’t have a middle name for little Sammie.

Heather and I are so blessed to have so many people who have been reaching out to us to help and pray for us. We couldn’t do what we do without the village of people we have behind us. THANK YOU! If you think of us please pray for our kid’s health and for Sammie/Ellie’s transition into our home.

With love,

the petersons

"Ellie combing Lily's hair"

"Little Sammie"

"Here's the new ones on their first night here"

"Watching a movie"

"I'm right about her smile, aren't I?"

Orphanage Trip

So today I skipped school to go with some my brother and some friends to an Orphanage here in Xi'an. We spent the morning playing with the children and helping in anyway we could. There are about 20 or so kids that are with this particular home and about 7 workers (that were there when we were). It was a difficult situation to step into to say the least. But it was also very encouraging to see that these children were taken care of very well. All the children in this home have deformities and/or handicaps. When I asked how the children come to the home the lady who was accompanying us told us that all these children had been abandoned by their parents due to their handicap/deformity. Some though had been abandoned because their family could not afford the medical costs that their child needed. The children's deformities ranged from having cleft pallets to issues with their hands or feet. I was so amazed to see the childcare workers there taking care of these kids in such a self-sacrificing way, and the lady with us even told us that the women working there are incredibly devoted to these kids. All of them working there carry a very deep love and are motivated by something greater then them. Another facet of this home is that they work with getting families setup to adopt the kids. Currently they have had over 200 of these kids adopted through them. We got to hold them, play with them and help feed them and I hope to get to go back in the future. I will say this also, it is a very special thing to be able to pick up a child and not only tell them, but show them that they are valuable and that they are loved. I'm going to be putting something together to help this home out in the next couple of weeks, so make sure to drop in if your interested in this issue.

with love,
matt, heather, sydney and little aubrey